I am sure there are many philosophical debates about this particular subject, and that's really not the purpose of this post. Age is a topic that seems to be an issue with a lot of people, especially those individuals who think that those of us who are in our forties are too old to be parenting young children.
When Kenny and I started on this journey to adopt Julianna, we never considered “how old” we were. For starters, we already had five children ranging from age 2 to 16 at the time. Adding another child who was already 7 didn’t seem like a stretch for us. Perhaps we might have felt differently if all of our children were teenagers or even college age like other people our age are experiencing. Or, if we ourselves “felt” old, we might have questioned our age.
When we met the Bradys in Russia several months ago, Crystal and Bill did not appear to us as “older” parents, yet they were more than ten years our age. Bill’s outlook on adopting a child and his age was memorable. He and Crystal were in the process of adopting a 12 year old girl and 6 year old boy who were biologically sister and brother. The Bradys had adopted two babies 12 years earlier in Russia, so they would soon be parents of four children. Bill said at first he was concerned about being “too old” at age 57 to parent a 6 year old boy. He questioned his ability to play baseball with his new son or do some of those “father-son” activities that dads and their boys do. Bill quickly came to the realization that he didn’t have to be everything for his son, as he could find someone to teach him the game of baseball, pitch to him, and assist him in the sport. Bill just had to be his dad…take him to the games, maybe be the parent who is in charge of the popcorn or fundraising, but didn’t have to be the coach or helper. Bill and Crystal’s little boy needed a dad…and I’m sure that to him, age wasn’t a big issue.
So when we hear people comment on “how old” someone is or draw conclusions about a person’s age and their desire to adopt a child, we think about the gifts that we have been given. Twenty years ago, we would not have considered adopting a child from Russia who has Down Syndrome. However, here we are today, happily looking forward to the day that our Julianna will be home with us. God’s plans for us are not always our plans. He knows the perfect time and if we listen, we will hear His voice guiding us. Need proof? There are many times throughout the bible that God has directed people to do things that they don’t think they can do. Some questioned their age…but God did not. And what we believe to be true is that “...with God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
Age? Yes, it’s true that some countries have limitations on the age of adoptive parents. For us, it’s a good thing that we are under 60 years of age. This is the age limit that Russia gives for those considering international adoption. At this rate, we could return to Russia a few more times to adopt again given how young we are! J
As for Julianna…she awaits her mommy and daddy. She doesn’t care about the years of experience that we have, educational degrees that we hold, or how many candles will be on our birthday cakenext year. She, like the other 144 million orphans in the world, just wants a family to love and that will love her. Our family is that family…we are her mommy and daddy…and we eagerly are waiting for the opportunity to bring her home...
Annie