In an earlier blog, I described how I felt about adopting a child from Russia, as an "older mom" and an experienced mom of ....yes, five other children. I did mention "why" we chose to adopt a child with disabilities, but I feel that it is important enough to share these feelings again, so that others can more fully understand and appreciate the decision that we have made to adopt Julianna.
Before Angelo was born, if you asked me if I had any prejudice, I would have told you "no, definitely not." Even though I had taken a number of courses in my ph.d. program that opened my eyes to the fact that I wasn't as objective as I thought I was. So, once Angelo was born, we were faced with the fact that we had been given a child that was "not normal." We really didn't know the extent of his "not normalness." We just knew that he had Down Syndrome, a genetic disorder that we had little knowledge of other than the limited interactions we had had with some family acquaintances.
Within 24 hours of Angelo's birth, we had embraced Angelo's diagnosis and vowed to do whatever was necessary for him to be a fully productive member of our family and of society. God must have a special plan in place for us. And others whom we knew that were parents of children diagnosed with this disability kept telling us "how blessed" we were. We didn't really get that at the time.
As the last two and one-half years have passed and Angelo has developed his own personality, we realize what our friends meant about being "blessed." Angelo is AMAZING! He is pure love. He is joyful and happy. He helps us all to be happy and to enjoy ourselves when we are with him. Angelo knows how to be social, friendly, and a great brother and son. He has the most impeccable manners of any child his age, signing please, thank you, and you're welcome (also sorry when appropropriate) all spontaneously as necessary. He put my "normally developing" children to shame with his level of kindness and politeness. He has helped us to "walk the walk".
Angelo has made us better people...better parents, and his siblings are better people, too. We can appreciate other people's perspectives more readily. We are, as a whole, more accepting of other's differences. We even find ourselves routing for the underdog. We have a desire to help people be the best that they can be regardless of their circumstances. Angelo has helped us to grow in our faith. He is pure light! We enjoy life much more because of Angelo and appreciate every minute that we have here on earth with our children.
Adopting a child has always been an opportunity that Kenny and I have thought about...and adopting a child with special needs was never a thought that we had until we were given the job of parenting Angelo. Angelo helped us to realize the following:
* We are capable of parenting a child who has a disability. We are pretty good at it.
* There are many who do not appreciate children like Angelo. They choose NOT to understand the gifts that these children bring to a family.
* There are many children whose parents are misled into believing that their child with Down Syndrome will "struggle" so they abort their child or they choose to give their child up.
* All of us have disabilities. Some of us have disabilities that are named, like Down Syndrome. Some of us don't have a name for our disability...it just exists and persists.
* Trusting God is essential. He will not forsake us!
* Children with special needs, i.e. Down Syndrome are more "normal" than not.
* Angelo and many people who have Down Syndrome are more accepting of others.
Oh, I guess I failed to mention that Angelo has therapy everyday until age three. And he will probably have and IEP for the rest of his educational life, age 3-21. Angelo will also have some other unique features about his life profile that other children many not have, i.e. we will have to continually check his thyroid, his eyesight, his hearing,...his low muscle tone causes some intestinal issues for him...So for those who are saying there is no "down side" to this disability...there certainly are health risk factors to consider, as well as intellectual disabilities that must be addressed. But really...is this a reason NOT to adopt a child with Down Syndrome.
I am one of the fortunate parents who has both children with Down Syndrome and those who have typical normal development. Angelo is a peach much more often than his siblings. Angelo does challenge me...but in a different way than his siblings do.
So why would we want to bring a young beautiful 8 year old Russian girl born with Down Syndrome into our home...adopting her to make her part of our Licata family? It's simple...we are selfish! We want to see her reach her full potential. We want a better life for her. We recognize the gifts that she has been given by God and we want her to be able to share those most effectively with others. We believe that she will do this in our family. We believe that Julianna will bring us joy, love, and light. (We also know that she will fight with her brothers and sisters, just like Angelo.)
Adopting Julianna will not be without its challenges. Yet, we are strong enough in our faith to know that we are not doing this alone. We will be given the grace, strength of character, discernment, and wisdom to make the decisions necessary for Julianna and our other children. God is always pulling the strings!
It's really that simple. We feel called by God to share what we have with Julianna and give her the best family that she can have. We are that family. Kenny and I are her mommy and daddy. We love her very much! She will add much joy to our family! God is good! Amen
...and this is why we want to adopt a child that is "different."
The selection below illustrates in music how we feel...."Lord, give me your eyes..."
click below to enjoy the music
Before Angelo was born, if you asked me if I had any prejudice, I would have told you "no, definitely not." Even though I had taken a number of courses in my ph.d. program that opened my eyes to the fact that I wasn't as objective as I thought I was. So, once Angelo was born, we were faced with the fact that we had been given a child that was "not normal." We really didn't know the extent of his "not normalness." We just knew that he had Down Syndrome, a genetic disorder that we had little knowledge of other than the limited interactions we had had with some family acquaintances.
Within 24 hours of Angelo's birth, we had embraced Angelo's diagnosis and vowed to do whatever was necessary for him to be a fully productive member of our family and of society. God must have a special plan in place for us. And others whom we knew that were parents of children diagnosed with this disability kept telling us "how blessed" we were. We didn't really get that at the time.
As the last two and one-half years have passed and Angelo has developed his own personality, we realize what our friends meant about being "blessed." Angelo is AMAZING! He is pure love. He is joyful and happy. He helps us all to be happy and to enjoy ourselves when we are with him. Angelo knows how to be social, friendly, and a great brother and son. He has the most impeccable manners of any child his age, signing please, thank you, and you're welcome (also sorry when appropropriate) all spontaneously as necessary. He put my "normally developing" children to shame with his level of kindness and politeness. He has helped us to "walk the walk".
Angelo has made us better people...better parents, and his siblings are better people, too. We can appreciate other people's perspectives more readily. We are, as a whole, more accepting of other's differences. We even find ourselves routing for the underdog. We have a desire to help people be the best that they can be regardless of their circumstances. Angelo has helped us to grow in our faith. He is pure light! We enjoy life much more because of Angelo and appreciate every minute that we have here on earth with our children.
Adopting a child has always been an opportunity that Kenny and I have thought about...and adopting a child with special needs was never a thought that we had until we were given the job of parenting Angelo. Angelo helped us to realize the following:
* We are capable of parenting a child who has a disability. We are pretty good at it.
* There are many who do not appreciate children like Angelo. They choose NOT to understand the gifts that these children bring to a family.
* There are many children whose parents are misled into believing that their child with Down Syndrome will "struggle" so they abort their child or they choose to give their child up.
* All of us have disabilities. Some of us have disabilities that are named, like Down Syndrome. Some of us don't have a name for our disability...it just exists and persists.
* Trusting God is essential. He will not forsake us!
* Children with special needs, i.e. Down Syndrome are more "normal" than not.
* Angelo and many people who have Down Syndrome are more accepting of others.
Oh, I guess I failed to mention that Angelo has therapy everyday until age three. And he will probably have and IEP for the rest of his educational life, age 3-21. Angelo will also have some other unique features about his life profile that other children many not have, i.e. we will have to continually check his thyroid, his eyesight, his hearing,...his low muscle tone causes some intestinal issues for him...So for those who are saying there is no "down side" to this disability...there certainly are health risk factors to consider, as well as intellectual disabilities that must be addressed. But really...is this a reason NOT to adopt a child with Down Syndrome.
I am one of the fortunate parents who has both children with Down Syndrome and those who have typical normal development. Angelo is a peach much more often than his siblings. Angelo does challenge me...but in a different way than his siblings do.
So why would we want to bring a young beautiful 8 year old Russian girl born with Down Syndrome into our home...adopting her to make her part of our Licata family? It's simple...we are selfish! We want to see her reach her full potential. We want a better life for her. We recognize the gifts that she has been given by God and we want her to be able to share those most effectively with others. We believe that she will do this in our family. We believe that Julianna will bring us joy, love, and light. (We also know that she will fight with her brothers and sisters, just like Angelo.)
Adopting Julianna will not be without its challenges. Yet, we are strong enough in our faith to know that we are not doing this alone. We will be given the grace, strength of character, discernment, and wisdom to make the decisions necessary for Julianna and our other children. God is always pulling the strings!
It's really that simple. We feel called by God to share what we have with Julianna and give her the best family that she can have. We are that family. Kenny and I are her mommy and daddy. We love her very much! She will add much joy to our family! God is good! Amen
...and this is why we want to adopt a child that is "different."
The selection below illustrates in music how we feel...."Lord, give me your eyes..."
click below to enjoy the music